Thursday, October 10, 2013

Ya Girl is Stressed

I read a blog post from John Piper today that was incredibly beneficial to me (find it here ). In it he was talking about feeling vulnerable and weak.

He says that he can remember waking up and just feeling sad, and that he would tell God, "Lord help me. I'm not even sure how to pray."

I thought that was so solid of a statement...Sometimes I'll be trying to pray, but I'm so overwhelmed or tired that I have NO idea what I even need or want to pray about. I think it'll be helpful bringing that to the conversation with God. Just to admit that you have nothing to say or having too many feelings that you don't know where to start.

The scripture he used was Zechariah 2:5, " 'And I myself will be a wall of fire around it', declares the Lord, 'and I will be its glory within."

I find comfort knowing that God gives us His protection, no matter how we feel. I feel especially vulnerable and weak presently, so it's nice to know that I may be too tired to tell God how I feel, but He knows. He is the glory within me, He protects me with fire. I am special to Him, 1 out of 6 billion. I am loved. He looks on me with fierce devotion.

There's a lot going on right now...personally and professionally. I've found myself in state of comparison. I'm continuing to compare myself to ex girlfriends, in particular. It's definitely not healthy, especially since there's no relationship in tact. Yet, I keep finding myself saying, "if I was skinnier, prettier, if I had a flower crown like she does..." and other absolute lies from the devil himself.

Work is hard right now. I haven't been this stressed and worried since college. I'm scared of letting down my supervisor and my work place in general.

I'm tired, physically and emotionally.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28
That was the Bible verse of the day on my YouVersion app.

Convenient. In this moment I will continue to let Jesus romance me. He knows how tired my heart and my spirit are. My strength is in Him, He is my worth, no one else.

I am fragile, God is not. (John Piper paraphrase ;) )

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